Important things on my mind

Why is this Tiger Woods thing SUCH a big deal? I understand that people love to hear about affairs and it's all a big, fancy, impossible to look away from train wreck, and who doesn't love a bright shiny train wreck that involves a celebrity? My father. But aside from him, no one. That said, I don't understand why the mistresses are getting lawyers and why it seems like he's in legal trouble over all of this. And why it seems like they're treating this like he is the president. I mean yay, you found out Tiger Woods is a terrible womanizer! Let's talk about it for a week! And then it keeps going and my brain gets confused.

It turns out Eddie Vedder, Lisa Marie Presley, Dave Grohl, David Spade and one of the Dixie Chicks have daughters named Harper. When we picked the name we did it for a variety of reasons, one of which was that it be somewhat different without being pretentiously different. But when five celebrities name their kid that same sort of unusual name in the last year it makes me feel like it's both too pretentious and too normal! HOW DO I GO ON???? My resolve is heroic!

Merry Christmas?

Give her the gift even Santa can't give her? Ew.


Watch CBS Videos Online

So as it turns out...

James Franco is a dick. He did General Hospital as an exercise in "performance art." Barf. Arrogance. Disappointment. Etc.

At some point soon this is not going to be cute. Maybe now?

Me: Wait, what is a platypus?

Brett: You know what a platypus is.

Me: No I don't, that's why I'm asking.

Brett: It's a furry looking animal with a bill like a duck. Harper, do platypuses lay eggs or have babies?

Harper: Lay eggs.

Brett: That's right. Even though they are what?

Harper: Mammals.

Brett: That's right!

Me: Now you're just trying to make me look stupid.

Hide and Seek

This is what happens when you play hide and seek with a three year old. Other things that happen: they insist on telling you where they are hiding before you look for them.

Harper was playing with a toy game where you put food into the mouths of animals based on what they usually eat. She couldn't find the worm for the bird so she held up a peanut.
Harper: I'll give him this!

Me: A peanut! You'll hurt him!

Harper: (like I'm insane) He's not REAL!

Me: Oh, you're right.

Harper: I can feed them things they don't eat if they're not real!

She then repeated that over and over until I was convinced I've messed her up for life.

Oh, Christmas Tree!

I just googled to find out if anyone had tips on how to keep cats off of a Christmas tree and it came up with a variety of "lock them in a room" answers, or buy a device that "mildly" sends an electric shock through them, so I guess the answer is, "no". Although I came across one site where everyone was resigned to the fact that they just couldn't have a tree and even though it sucked it was worth it for them and their (insert number of cats). I thought it was surprisingly sweet and tolerant until I got to "me and my 13 cats" and I was like, wait, what website am I ON? And I looked at the top and saw: HSN (Home Shopping Network). Sigh.